


BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime- The MIA Cadets

by tootiredforthis



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Other, Thanks Tumblr, buzzfeed unsolved voltron au, lets be real as soon as this news broke the boys would've done an ep on this, this is probably my greatest work yet, this whole thing is unsolved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tootiredforthis/pseuds/tootiredforthis
Summary: An episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved which covers the missing Galaxy Garrison cadets- and what may have happened to them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I found a gifset on tumblr the other day, by tumblr user melodysoars and i was like ‘holy shit this is amazing i wanna read the full script of this video then i realised ‘fuck i’m gonna have to write this myself aren’t i?’  
> So yeah some lines are directly taken from the gifset and most are dreamt up by me hoping against hope that ryan bergara and shane madej will find this and read it and record it for the whole fandom

BuzzFeed UNSOLVED: TRUE CRIME- The MIA Cadets  
Ryan: This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we are covering the missing NASA Galaxy Garrison cadets. This happened fairly recently, and it’s… a strange one to say the least.  
Shane: I remember hearing about this- it was all over the news for like three days, then it kinda fizzled out, didn’t it?  
Ryan: This one happened, just before the Tromp family disappearance.  
Shane: The one where they were drug lords? Heck! Everyone’s going missing! It’s a summer of vanishing!  
Ryan: Summer of… (wheeze) Anyway, let’s get into it.  
(Animated timeline)  
Ryan: On June 10, 2016, the NASA Galaxy Garrison stationed in Arizona experienced a Zulu Niner complete lockdown as a comet impacted the desert nearby. When bed-checks were made shortly after, three cadets- Lance Mcclain-Sanchez, a pilot in fighter class, Hunk Garrett, an engineer, and Katie “Pidge” Holt, a computer specialist- were discovered to be missing. A short search in the surrounding area revealed that they were seen on a hoverbike, riding off into the desert. None of the three cadets have been seen since.  
(Blue and Yellow text)  
Shane: the government (sigh), they just don’t seem to be good at finding people  
Ryan: i mean, they probably are a little busy  
Shane: “We’ve got three cadets out of bed? What’s that? They’re on surveillance footage heading off into the desert? Well…”  
Ryan: (laughs)  
Shane: “Can’t possibly follow up on that.”  
Ryan: To be- to be fair, they do have a comet to deal with  
Shane: it’s a hot rock! They can follow three teenagers into the desert.  
Ryan: People think four, actually.  
Shane: Four? Who’s the fourth one?  
(Animated Timeline)  
Ryan: Earlier that same day, a dark figure was seen just beyond the military-guarded boundaries, seemingly scoping out the area, and constantly watching the sky. They kept ducking near the ground, and after a few hours, they left on a hoverbike. It may be a long shot, but this mysterious figure could have found out the comet was coming, and prepared for it.  
(Cut to camera)  
Shane: Prepared for it? How?  
Ryan: You’ll see.  
(Cut to timeline)  
Ryan: Shortly after the comet impacted, several rounds of explosives were detonated about two klicks northeast of the base’s impromptu comet study station. Many of the guards ran over to see what the commotion was, and our mysterious hoverbiker is seen on surveillance footage knocking out what few guards remained and entering the tented area. The three missing cadets follow quickly after, and all four emerge from the tent carrying a fifth figure. All board the hoverbike, and a short chase ensues before they shake their pursuers and disappear.  
(cut to camera)  
Shane: So you think this hoverbiker planted explosives as a distraction so they could go inside and steal government secrets- and apparently another government agent?  
Ryan: It’s certainly a likely possibility.  
(cut to animatics)  
Ryan: The families of the three cadets were told of their children’s disappearances the next day, as well as an official story being released to the media. It’s worth mentioning that two of the three families refused to sign governmental NDAs. Also, I think it’s safe to say the Holt family was hit hardest by this news, as the Holt family was faced with tragedy last year, after the loss of Dr Samuel Holt and Matthew Holt on the Kerberos Mission. Dr Colleen Holt, the wife of Samuel Holt and mother of Matthew and Katie, believes that the government is hiding something from the grieving families, and is running a public server for her investigation to gather information, in the hopes that more minds involved will solve this case sooner. She is quoted as saying, “I will not be quiet, I will not accept what I am told. They took my husband and son, and now my daughter is missing too. I will not rest until I know the truth. I know that they can be found.”  
Ryan, cont.: With that being said, let’s get into the theories. The first theory is that our mysterious hoverbiker is a murderer who may have gone to the Garrison at one point, explaining how they got the three cadets to go with them. After getting them to leave the safety of the Garrison’s borders, they were either left to die or brutally killed. One person suspected of being the dropout murderer is Keith Kogane, who was expelled after the news of the Kerberos mission was released.  
(Blue and Yellow text)  
Shane: Wait, why was he expelled?  
Ryan: Apparently, Keith Kogane, after hearing that the Kerberos mission was a failure due to pilot error, went practically ballistic on the officer who gave him the news, and decked him. The pilot on that mission was Takashi Shirogane, who Keith was very close to. However, I looked at all the evidence, and I couldn’t find anything placing Kogane in the Garrison area near the time of the crash, so we may need to toss him out as a suspect.  
Shane: Maybe he just erased all traces of him being in Arizona at the time, went out to live in the desert like a hermit.  
Ryan: Holy shit you might be onto something there…  
(Animatic)  
Ryan: Our second theory is easily the most boring one, but after looking at the rest of them, it’s the most likely. This theory simply states that the cadets were locked out after the comet crashed, and had to find shelter elsewhere.  
(Blue and Yellow text)  
Shane: But then don’t you think they would’ve returned to the base eventually?  
Ryan: I dunno, maybe they stayed away to avoid any sort of punishment?  
Shane: This theory’s falling apart at the seams.  
(Cut to animatic)  
Ryan: The third theory is that the comet may not have been a comet, but some sort of return ship from the Kerberos mission, piloted by Takashi Shirogane, and our mysterious hoverbiker went in to retrieve him from the government. I could see this one being a real possibility, especially if you consider the previous theory of Keith Kogane being our hoverbiker. Considering Keith’s attachment to Takashi, it’s quite likely that he would go to very illegal measures to get him back.  
Ryan, cont.: The next part of this is a bit out there, but please don’t yell at me. The day after the comet crashed, some people in the remote valley near the Garrison claimed to have seen a strange flying ship- almost looking like a lion- and definitely not looking like anything of this world- flying around before ascending through the atmosphere and disappearing. These accounts are unverified so take them with a grain of salt, but it sets us up for the final theory which is that the Flying Lion may have been a space ship piloted by Matt or Sam Holt, who picked up the three cadets, Takashi Shirogane, and Keith Kogane and took them to space- and the Government hushed it up.  
(blue and yellow text)  
Shane: and three, two, one-  
Ryan: aliens!  
Shane: no.  
Ryan: (laughs) oh, come on, it fits so well  
Shane: no. no, I- look, if some kids were off playing hooky, having- having a grand ol’ time and were like “ooh! A cave! That looks fun!” and the cave fell in..  
Ryan: they got eaten by rocks, is what you’re saying  
Shane: they got eaten by rocks  
(Ending card)  
Ryan: Whatever truly happened that night, since there’s no way of knowing if any of these theories occurred, the case of the three missing cadets remains UNSOLVED.  
(end credits scene)  
Ryan: so you’re saying that them getting eaten by rocks is more likely than aliens or murderers  
Shane: if they went out into the desert not knowing what they were up against, then yeah, i’m gonna fuckin believe they got eaten by rocks- for all we know they’re still out there in a cave, dying or dead  
Ryan: by that token, they could be out in space on some strange planet fighting evil aliens in a fantastical mech suit made up of five lions  
Shane: ok im gonna stop you there.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the paladins find this episode and freak out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boston: I want Pidge to find this, I want Pidge and Matt and hunk to find a way onto earth’s internet, find this and just end up dying of laughter on the floor. Bonus points if Keith feels like crying for being part of a government conspiracy *dreams do come true* 
> 
> Congrats boston you got your fucking wish  
> I present to you: an encore

(Not too long into the future) In a galaxy, far far away, there flew a magnificent Castle-ship. It housed the Paladins of Voltron, noble and true folks who wished to preserve the safety of the universe.  
And then there were the memelords.  
Hunk had been trying for a long time to figure out how to connect to Earth Wi-Fi networks, and at long last he’d stumbled upon a solution. If it weren’t for Matt and Pidge, it would never have been finished.  
“OH MY GOD,” Pidge screamed, “ITS THE GOOGLE CHROME LOGO!”  
Her laptop finally powered on, showing the little dinosaur that shows up when you have a shitty connection.   
“I haven’t seen that since before Kerberos… I’m gonna cry,” Matt teared up.   
“Shush, we haven’t gotten connected just yet. A few more codes and I’ll be in.”  
A few moments of tense silence.  
Then  
Suddenly  
The google homepage.  
Cheers from everyone in the room could be heard throughout the whole castle.  
“What is going on over here?” Lance ran into the room. “Did you finish the entirety of Rainbow Road without falling off?”  
“Nope! Even better! We got onto Earth Wi-Fi!” Matt yelled.  
Shock.  
“I CAN FINALLY CATCH UP ON ALL THOSE BEAUTY VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE HOLY SHIT!”  
Pidge froze for a moment. “YouTube… Lance, go get Keith,”  
“Wait, why?”  
“JUST SHUT UP AND GET HIM IN HERE WE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO.”  
Lance weighed his options, and deciding he didn’t want an angry, caffeine-fueled, sleep-deprived Pidgeon on his hands, ran to find Keith.  
“Wait, what are you and Keith gonna watch?” Hunk asked, confused.  
“Do you remember that one youtube channel I always watched back at the Garrison? The one about the conspiracy theories?”  
“Yeah, BuzzFeedBlue?”  
“Yep. Well, we’ve been out here in space for a while now. There’s gotta be some new episodes unless everyone died or something,” she explained. “Oh, god if everyone died we’d be the last ones left…”  
“Let’s not think of that right now,” Matt said, trying to distract her.   
Keith came sprinting into the room. “I came as soon as I heard. Let’s check BuzzFeedBlue.”  
“The connection might be a bit spotty, but I think I got it pretty smooth for now. So we should try it out now,” said Pidge. “If it doesn’t work I’m going to eject myself into fucking space.”  
They pulled up the YouTube homepage, logged into Pidge’s old account, and the notifications began pouring in. Most were old, memoriam notes on the Google+ account, like “We Hope You Have Gone To Rest” and “RIP Katie”. Few and far between were notifications for videos, like lets-play videos and get-ready-with-me videos, months old. Unimportant.  
Search up ‘BuzzFeedBlue’. Most watched video since they left.  
Pidge gasped.  
“LANCE GET YOUR ASS IN HERE BRING SHIRO TOO YOU GOTTA FUCKING SEE THIS SHIT.”  
Almost immediately, Shiro was at the door. “Pidge, language!”  
“Try to fucking stop me, I have a language of my own you fucking shitnugget.”  
“Anyway, what did you need to show us?” Shiro asked.   
“BuzzFeed Unsolved launched a new season while we were gone. Not just that, but their most watched video of all time- you gotta see this.”  
“I didn’t come to watch conspiracy videos.”  
“Shiro, trust me.” Matt said. “This is something you don’t wanna miss.”  
Lance joined them once again, and Pidge clicked on the most watched BuzzFeed video ever:  
BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime- The MIA Cadets  
“This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we are covering the missing NASA Galaxy Garrison cadets. This happened fairly recently, and it’s… a strange one to say the least.”  
“Holy fucking shit…” Keith whispered.   
“I remember hearing about this- it was all over the news for like three days, then it kinda fizzled out, didn’t it?”  
“This one happened, just before the Tromp family disappearance.”  
“The one where they were drug lords? Heck! Everyone’s going missing! It’s a summer of vanishing!”  
Keith fell backward on the floor.  
“I can’t believe it. They actually made an episode about the MIA cadets. They actually did it.”  
“Shhh!”  
They watched the video in mute awe, barely believing what they saw.  
When it finished, the room exploded into pandemonium. Shiro got first dibs.  
“Keith you punched IVERSON? And you got EXPELLED? What the hell were you thinking?”  
“I wasn’t. Also why did they paint me as the murderer? I was hoping I’d be the badass mysterious guy!”  
“You were the badass mysterious guy. You were also the murderer.” Lance deadpans.   
“I guess it’s nice to know Mom never gave up on us. And now, Dad’s home with her, so I hope she’s happy.” Pidge smiled.  
“Oh, man, can you imagine what her reaction was when Dad told her he saw us in space and didn’t bring us back?” Matt, the little shit, managed to joke.  
“We would’ve heard it all the way out here.”  
“Oh my god we were on a BFU episode… like cryptids and major conspiracy theories,” Keith kept muttering. “We made it officially we were on BFU.”  
“I love how every theory they posited was even less likely than the official explanation- and then Ryan literally hit the nail on the head.” Hunk smirked. “If you put together elements from each theory, you get more or less the whole story.”  
“Yeah. I like the pictures they chose for us- we look awesome.” Lance said.   
“Considering those were likely the photos released to the media upon the announcement we had died… we don’t look too bad.” Keith pointed out.  
“Wow. Mood killer.”  
Pidge smirked. “Let’s FaceTime Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej. We have a lot of explaining to do.”

And a few moments of hacking later, they did just that. 

“Holy shit, Shane, get over here, you gotta see this.”  
“What is it now?”  
“FaceTime from some random number.”  
“Well, cancel it, we’re at work.”  
“Too late.”  
The FaceTime screen opened, and Ryan and Shane got the shock of their lives.   
“Hey, Ryan and Shane! I’m Katie- aka Pidge, and this is Lance, Hunk, Keith, Shiro, and Matt. We just watched the MIA cadets video, and we wanted to clear up some shit.”  
“Holy shit.”  
“Ryan, you’re not fucking with me, are you?”  
“Nope, swear to God this is a surprise.”  
“Hey, Shane! Aliens are real! They built flying lions that form a giant mech, and we’re saving the universe one planet at a time!” Hunk shouted.   
“I- oh my god- wait, how are you guys connecting to wifi from outer space?” Ryan stuttered.  
“We’re actually orbiting just beyond Jupiter, so we have a reasonable connection right now.” Matt answered.  
“Wait, can I see?” Shane pushed Ryan aside to see better.   
“Sure. Let me pick up this laptop and show you.”  
The camera spun around to reveal a beautiful view of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot.   
“Are you guys ok?” Ryan asked.  
“Define ok.”  
“I’ll answer that, Pidge. Well, we’ve all almost died at least once,” Shiro began, “After I crash-landed that night everyone went missing, we found a blue space lion, and left the atmosphere. Each of us pilots a lion- Lance pilots Blue, Keith pilots Red, Hunk pilots Yellow, Pidge pilots Green, and I pilot Black. The lions can interlock together to create a giant mech called Voltron, but it only works if we all work together. We all quickly bonded over our mutual fear of imminent death, the first few times.”  
“Since then, we’ve had to deal with a giant real life empire that’s tried to enslave all of humanity for ten thousand years, a purple Legolas wannabe, an evil witch, and a bunch of corrupted monsters. It’s been fun.”  
“Oh my god… all my conspiracy theories are out the window.”  
“Three, two, one-” Lance counted down.  
“ALIENS ARE REAL!” Ryan screamed, gathering lots of attention from others in the office.   
“My reaction exactly,” Keith smiled, “Especially when I found out I was part alien.”  
“His reaction to finding out he was on a conspiracy channel was just, falling over and muttering to himself.” Lance pointed out.   
“Shut your face.” he grumbled.  
“Make me.”  
“Hey, Shane, since you’re the levelheaded one around here, can you tell me if General Iverson’s still in charge of the Garrison?” Shiro asked.  
“He’s actually the president now. And to be honest? He’s doing a lot better than some of the others we’ve had.”  
“Pidge, get the cameras ready. We’re recording a message to the world.”  
“I hope it includes something like ‘I lived, bitch’.” Matt muttered.  
“Oh you fucking bet it will.”


End file.
